Among the living.

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I am still here, and I want to write more, but my ability to sit upright and focus on my 52 inch computer monitor (yes for real, my husband feels WoW is best viewed in life size) has been compromised by the bile and undigested saltine crackers that keep creeping back up my esophagus.

But, know that I am seriously reading your comments, although it is hard to reply in a timely fashion. I am also reading your blogs, even though some of you whores insist on using captcha, and it’s making me vomit even more out of frustration and inability to discern a p from the number 9.

I would say something cheesy here, about keeping me in your thoughts and prayers, or some bullshit, but honestly, it’s just vomit, could be a tapeworm, totally not a serious as rabies or starving children…plus Jesus gets pissed when I ask for petty shit…like the time I prayed to get the part of Robin Hood in my 5th grade play, and I made a point to do it in the name of feminism (dude, Sandy Duncan totally played Peter Pan in the 70′s), only on the day of the play, I forgot and showed up in a pink dress and butterfly tights instead of my Robin Hood costume and my teacher was furious…plus my wooden sword gave me a run in my tights and my mom was pissed. And then Jesus was all…what the crap was that?! And I was all…duuude, I know, I totally dropped the ball on that one. And he got all…we need to talk about priorities. But I was all…totally, but I have shit to do right now, sooo..

Anyways, I’ll be back in full force soon, maybe tonight, probably tomorrow.

I swear.

P.S. I also just want to remind you all to have your cellphones ready for when I text you all my pregnancy results via text message at 3am. Thanks.