Among the living.

by Brittany on August 26, 2008

in may or may not be a medical emergency

I am still here, and I want to write more, but my ability to sit upright and focus on my 52 inch computer monitor (yes for real, my husband feels WoW is best viewed in life size) has been compromised by the bile and undigested saltine crackers that keep creeping back up my esophagus.

But, know that I am seriously reading your comments, although it is hard to reply in a timely fashion. I am also reading your blogs, even though some of you whores insist on using captcha, and it’s making me vomit even more out of frustration and inability to discern a p from the number 9.

I would say something cheesy here, about keeping me in your thoughts and prayers, or some bullshit, but honestly, it’s just vomit, could be a tapeworm, totally not a serious as rabies or starving children…plus Jesus gets pissed when I ask for petty shit…like the time I prayed to get the part of Robin Hood in my 5th grade play, and I made a point to do it in the name of feminism (dude, Sandy Duncan totally played Peter Pan in the 70′s), only on the day of the play, I forgot and showed up in a pink dress and butterfly tights instead of my Robin Hood costume and my teacher was furious…plus my wooden sword gave me a run in my tights and my mom was pissed. And then Jesus was all…what the crap was that?! And I was all…duuude, I know, I totally dropped the ball on that one. And he got all…we need to talk about priorities. But I was all…totally, but I have shit to do right now, sooo..

Anyways, I’ll be back in full force soon, maybe tonight, probably tomorrow.

I swear.

P.S. I also just want to remind you all to have your cellphones ready for when I text you all my pregnancy results via text message at 3am. Thanks.

{ 53 comments… read them below or add one }

Average Girl In Average World August 26, 2008 at 8:08 am

poor thing, up for days throwing up. Who held your hair? Who rubbed your back? Let me guess….you did!!!!

I really do hope you feel better. Puking sucks.

Reply

Threeboys1mommy August 26, 2008 at 8:15 am

I know your sick, so your friendly neighborhood editor is here to offer her services.
-keeping MY in your thought, should read keeping ME

When your talking to J.C
I and I was all… duuuude should read and I was all

Always here to help…. unless of course that was your way of illustrating how truly sick you are. If so, Genius Britt. Genius.

Reply

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly August 26, 2008 at 8:16 am

You are so pregnant. That ain’t no tapeworm, that’s morning sickness.

Feel better and tell Jesus that if it isn’t morning sickness and really is a tapeworm that you will ask him for petty shit all the time.

Reply

kel August 26, 2008 at 8:16 am

Puking does suck, but there is a bright side. You can eat whatever you want, and, no problem! Calories don’t count, b/c it’ll come back up anyway. See? There is a bright side to all this…..

Reply

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 August 26, 2008 at 8:31 am

Hope you get better soon–stomach flus SUCK!

Reply

ali August 26, 2008 at 8:40 am

I’m considering getting rid of my captcha for you Brittany but the second I get a request to visit a florist’s blog in Burma I’m sending her your way!

Reply

ali August 26, 2008 at 8:41 am

Oh, and you are in my thoughts and prayers:)

Reply

AJ August 26, 2008 at 8:55 am

That sucks. Sorry you’re not feeling better yet. Totally is making us all suspect pregnancy though…and a girl at that. They’re sassy, and like to start things off rough to prove they mean business:)

Reply

Elizabeth August 26, 2008 at 9:18 am

Ugh, a tapeworm – that sounds serious. I say, it’s time to call in Jesus, no – you need GOD. Bypass Jesus completely for this one! I mean, honestly, he’s the only one who can really beat the crap out of that tapeworm! Hope you feel better!

Reply

Bethany August 26, 2008 at 9:20 am

ewww puking is so not fun. I hope you feel better soon… unless you get 2 pink lines (or you got all hi-tech and got the one that says your pregnant/not pregnant) which, is kinda what I’m thinking…. your vajay-jay said she’s been busy ;)

Reply

Carolyn...Online August 26, 2008 at 9:20 am

Are you trying to lose your post-pregnancy weight pre-pregnancy?

Reply

Jennifer August 26, 2008 at 9:36 am

Tapeworm? What a nightmare! My cell phone is on and ready for your vice president–I mean, pregnancy test results!

Reply

Sra August 26, 2008 at 9:36 am

I despise captcha. Most people don’t get enough comments to make it worthwhile having captcha anyway. How hard is it to just delete the infrequent spam comment anyway?

Reply

Carrie August 26, 2008 at 10:28 am

Dear Brittany,

Since I’ve begun reading your blog a few days ago, I’ve learned a lot about your bodily functions. I am waiting with baited breath for a diarrhea story, unless you’ve already posted one.

p.s. Not sure the prayers would work anyway. I’m pretty sure you’re going to hell for talking smack to Jesus…

Reply

Rachel August 26, 2008 at 10:50 am

Ugh — I hate captcha and puking. Sorry you’re having to deal with both!

Reply

Amanda August 26, 2008 at 11:16 am

ok at this point I sure hope it wasn’t the taco’s that are making you sick, you’d have some kind of lawsuit on that one!! =)

Reply

Laura August 26, 2008 at 11:52 am

This is Jesus showing you what happens when you keep pregnant test results from me. Spill the beans and you’ll stop vomitting. I promise.

Reply

Dejoni August 26, 2008 at 12:38 pm

I’m already knitting baby booties…you are SO pregnant.
So glad it’s you and not me.
LOL!

Reply

Jo-Jo August 26, 2008 at 12:55 pm

I would totally wait up until 3am to hear you prego results…I am up anyway and would enjoy the text waking my hubby up as well so I can and over whatever child is currently causing my lack of sleep! Oh wait, this was about you not me…Hope you feel better!

Reply

samsmom August 26, 2008 at 1:40 pm

I just popped over from MBC. Your post is hilarious!! Made me laugh out loud :) . I’ll be interested to see your results :)

Reply

Slick August 26, 2008 at 1:56 pm

Just don’t leave chunks in the carpet..

Hope you get to feeling better!

Reply

JenniBeanV August 26, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Oy! Sorry about the vomiting pregnant tapeworm you’ve got going on there! Feel better soon!

Love, Jenni

ps: I don’t have captcha because I like to live dangerously, yo.

pss: Jesus is so bossy, isn’t He?

Reply

Sandy C. August 26, 2008 at 2:51 pm

Dude, I see 2 pink lines in your future.

Can you send me some fertile vibes? Just leave out the vomit. Thanks.

Reply

AJ August 26, 2008 at 5:17 pm

Okay, you two potential pregnant ladies are killing me with the suspense!

Reply

Judy@nofearentertaining August 26, 2008 at 5:38 pm

Ugh…I guess I’ll be waiting for your text! What the hell, I’m up anyway.

Tapeworm would really suck.

Reply

Not Just Any Jen August 26, 2008 at 6:10 pm

Get better soon!
Jen

Reply

alanna rose August 26, 2008 at 6:24 pm

I’m getting rid of captcha – just for you :)

Ever see the Kids in the Hall episode where they eat nothing but ketchup and mac and cheese? They were “feeding their tapeworms” – I always think of that when tapeworms are mentioned (which is more often than you’d think).

Reply

Leah August 26, 2008 at 6:40 pm

Lemon head candy. It will stop you from feeling so sick. I lived on them the first few weeks I was pregnant with my daughter.

Reply

Jennifer August 26, 2008 at 8:24 pm

I tried to think of something funny, but it wasn’t working. Try not to puke in your hair. Got my fingers crossed for a double-pink line for ya!

Reply

Emiline August 26, 2008 at 8:42 pm

Hope you feel better soon! Get better, seriously. I wouldn’t even worry about blogging, commenting, reading, etc. I wouldn’t. I’d be watching TV.

So funny about Robin Hood.

Reply

HeatherW August 26, 2008 at 9:47 pm

I get the blog MIA thing…I have been gone for almost a month. i have had so much personal stuff going on lately…so which has already started making an apperance on my blog and some which will have to wait a while to make an appearance.

Hope you are feeling better and I will be waiting for that 3am text!!

Reply

Always Home and Uncool August 27, 2008 at 5:18 am

get well, barefoot foodie. we miss ya.

Reply

HappyHourSue August 27, 2008 at 5:44 am

Don’t blog, just tweet so we know you’re alive. :)

Reply

Fiesty Charlie August 27, 2008 at 6:40 am

Feel better sweets… or I will have to send you a painting… {grin}

If you send a text a 3 a.m. there had better be a proposition attached to it after the “news.”

Just saying!

Reply

schwartz August 27, 2008 at 6:46 am

Great. Now I want some lemon heads. Thanks Leah.

Sorry you are still sicky. Hope you are happily knocked up and getting over this funk.

Could you also make the text message at 3:30 instead?

Reply

Marie August 27, 2008 at 9:05 am

Ugh. Puking is the worst! Hope you feel better soon!

Reply

Aubrey August 27, 2008 at 10:22 am

Are you sure it’s not the captcha making ya barf??
You are SO preggers. Stop keeping us in this suspense. Spit it out! Oh wait…you already have been!

Reply

American in Norway August 27, 2008 at 10:45 am

get well soon! ; )

Reply

Jennifer August 27, 2008 at 12:17 pm

ACK!!! When I read your post yesterday, I thought, yeah, those Captcha bitches, i hate that craptcha crap too! And, lo and behold, I had it turned on!!! OMG you totally hate me! Well, I’ve turned it off, so you can feel free to post all the spammies you’d like. Enjoy!

Reply

texasholly August 27, 2008 at 6:05 pm

Oh bless your heart (and vomiting stomach). You would have totally rocked the robin hood thing. Jesus wasn’t being fair with you.

Reply

aimlessly she said August 27, 2008 at 7:51 pm

Awww :( I hope you feel better soon. And I’m dying to see those test results!

Reply

Nanny Goats In Panties August 27, 2008 at 11:56 pm

How can all this puking not be morning sickness? That would be SO unfair!

Reply

Laura August 28, 2008 at 8:51 am

the.suspense.is.killing.me.

killing.me.

Reply

J.Danger August 28, 2008 at 9:19 am

GAH! You are KILLING me! Just tell us already!

Reply

Erin August 28, 2008 at 9:42 am

I am needing an update in a bad way..I have a hard time drinking my morning coffee without your funny posts!

I hope you are OK!

Reply

AJ August 28, 2008 at 10:44 am

It’s tomorrow, it’s tomorrow, where’s the update? We miss you!

Reply

Stephie August 28, 2008 at 12:12 pm

ok now this is just not fair, no cell phone text and now it’s tomorrow and no update WTF?!?!

Reply

LiteralDan August 28, 2008 at 12:49 pm

It’s just as well you take some time off– it allows me to catch up on the can’t miss blogs I missed during my week’s vacation.

We all know Jesus can be a hard case sometimes– pray to me instead and I promise I’ll fix it within a day or two. Then I’ll send around a collection plate.

Reply

HeatherW August 28, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Damn you!! You have turned me into a crazy STALKER!! I am checking your blog like every 2.4 seconds to see what the “big post” is!! You said big post TOMORROW and that was over 24 hours ago!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

Foodycat August 30, 2008 at 1:56 am

The 52″ screen is not for WoW – that is a fringe benefit. It is so he can view 2 A4 pages side by side. Truely. It is Important For Work. Or so I am told.

Hope you’re feeling better and it is pregnancy not parasites!

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: