Valentines Day. Done.
I awoke to find a card and a single rose shoved into an empty Diet Coke can on the counter.
I think the fact that my husband can look me in the eyes and kiss me, even though I totally smell, haven’t shaved my armpits in days, and waddle around holding an ice bag to my crotch is testament enough of our undying love.
The rose was just a bonus, not any sort of validation.
That’s how awesome our marriage is. We are like the two lone survivors of some kind of terrible plane crash on an island somewhere, and before we were rescued we totally had to do something horrific, like eat the body of the fat guy who didn’t make it or beat a baby monkey to death with our shoe for nourishment (even though, I don’t think I would even condone eating a baby monkey, they are probably riddled with disease). It was grisly and disgusting, and when we were rescued, we made a pact to never speak of what happened on the island again. And from that day on, we would just look at each other, and we would know the hell from which we’d come, and remember we only did it because we had to do it, and we love and appreciate each other more for it each and every day.
That is what marriage is.
Making out with someone who ate a fat guy and a baby monkey, and being cool with it, because you totally did, too.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
It was sooo sweet I couldn’t stop the tears. You really captured the essence of true love.
A diet coke can – what a genius idea
Love your view on marriage…maybe I am ok being single…LOL
Well thanks for the insider’s bit of wisdom there! ; )
Nothing like true love – it speaks for itself!
I want that saying on a coffee mug!
Yer hubby is tha shit. And YOU are even better.
If I tried to give my wife a rose in a diet coke can, she would proceed to kill me. Not with a sharp instrument, mind you, but with nagging, whining, disappointment, and a complete lack of understanding of any sentiment I attempted to attach.
Yep.
Im going away now, before I say more.
But I am happy for you two. Definitely.
I want a relationship like that!!! Well, minus the B.O…. and the ice-bag to the crotch… and there’s no way I’d consider beating a baby monkey with my shoe… but the other stuff? I’m in!
i totally agree! marriage is awesome.
You should write Hallmark Cards. Shot to the heart Brittany, and you’re to blame.
I love the new look of your blog.
I’ve always thought Diet Coke cans made the best vases.
Woah. It’s all different looking here and stuff. I likes it.
That is a love story for the ages……
Aw, you two are made for eachother..;))
I’m still waiting for my scratchers. Got a card and an 8-pack of Reese’s PB Cups though….drool….burp.
that is too sweet…i have a post up on my valentine’s, but you know, simple is sometimes the best
So romantic!!! I am truly glad you 2 found each other…Very sweet!
Bah, and here I only got my hubby a dead hooker.
That is an excellent description of marriage.
I’ve been lurking for awhile now, I really adore your writing and how it makes me laugh. Just wanted to finally introduce myself and say thanks for being such a good read!
I LOVE that baby monkey quote–can you get that made into a tshirt or something?
Love the new digs here. I’m glad I actually clicked through my blog reader to view the site.
Also I <3 your contest so much, I may want to have its babies. If I have time whilst not at work, I’m totally participating.
Your love makes me vomit. But in a good way.
Ahh, how romantic, sort of, well yeah!
What if you ate a fat guy who ate a baby monkey? You could pin all the bad stuff on him, and still receive the balanced nourishment that comes only from consuming the obese and the nuevo-simian.
Hey, look at that, I just invented a word! You don’t get THAT kind of creativity from NOT eating baby monkeys. Spinal fluid shake, anyone?
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