Oh my god, y’all.
I am so super good at naming things, it seems like such a waste.
I have so many awesome names in my arsenal, and now, thanks to Andy’s unwillingness to father anymore children with me, they will never see the light of day.
Unless I buy, like, thirty pet fish.
And even then, how stupid is it to waste perfectly good human names on fish?
Very.
When my mom was pregnant, they didn’t have ultrasounds.
CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE!? How did you even know there was a baby in there!?
Olden days were so weird.
Anyways, up until my birth, I was a bouncing baby boy to be named Justin.
Alas. Ovaries. No Justin. Not even a Justine.
My dad was totally bummed.
Thankfully, my brother, Adam, was born two years later.
(He has a beard and he’s a carpenter. Can you guess which one of us is the favorite? He doesn’t write about his sex life on the internet, and the jury is still out on his ability to walk on water.)
When I was younger, I always wanted to be named Kimberly.
In fact, I had completely convinced my 90 year old great grandmother in a nursing home that, that was my name.
Everyone thought she was a nut bag, but, I loved her. Even when she pooped in her pants or made me help her take her bra off.
We shared the same grip on reality.
My name was Kimberly, and I was going to be a triple threat on the New Mickey Mouse Club and marry JC Chasez, because he was such a hunk and not at all a homosexual.
See!?
Completely rational.
Instead, I am Brittany. In Ohio. With no Christ-like tendencies. No pop music career. And a fish tank full of bad ass baby names.
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Want to kick some of those baby names my way? We don’t even have ideas for this kid.
Yes. But you like the traditional and not the weird. Right?
Yeah, I do. That could be a problem. But we’re not coming up with anything, so we might have to resort to weird.
My parents named me Justin before I was born too. How lame are our parents? And I wanted to be called Taylor because I thought it made me sound way more attractive and facinating. But instead my name is Beckey, which I think is a fat girl’s name.
Crap.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I have a perky girl’s name. TRY NOT LIVING UP TO THAT!
Thank God for Britney. Now everyone expects me to be mentally unstable.
I’ll take some too. We are expecting a boy and can’t seem to find a name we can agree on.
I was almost a Justin. Or a GEORGE! Good thing I was a girl
Emily & Kristin-Wyatt is a kick ass name (yes I am a bit partial so kill me) just don’t name your kids one of those wacko names like all the “cool” people are. oh and watch the initials you wouldn’t want your kids towels to have ASS monogrammed on them!
I had a hard time with both of my kids names Wyatt had a completely different name for a long while. my girl was harder I think since I already had her middle name and had to find something to fit with it.
Um yes, I am OBVIOUSLY also partial to Wyatt:)
Since we are having no more children either, we decided to get a dog and his name is Wyatt. Which is a kick ass name for a kid or an awesome dog! But Wyatt is number 47 on the top 100 baby names of ’09.
Wyatt is my FAVORITE little boys name. my husband Vetoed that one though. I begged and begged and begged for my whole pregnancy with my second son…
his name?
Lincoln.
I love it and everything and it totally fits him…. but I really LOVE the name Wyatt. My good friends sons name is wyatt..
it’s a good name.
He doesn’t write about his sex life on the internet….
hahaha!
Additionally, I think they should give kids the option to keep their birth surnames rather than have to take their adoptive father’s last name. This would help kids from having a perfectly nornmal last name to something they are teased about incessantly for the rest of their lives…
I think we need an example…
OK- born with the last name “King”, then when my mom remarried was given the last name “Steinke”- so there was: stinky, stanky, spanky, etc all thru school and in restaurants or any other public forum of which your name is called out in public….maybe that builds “character”- who the hell knows….but I was very happy to take a very generic last name when I got married!
Exactly why I want to change my daughter’s last name to my own…because Peter’s (her father’s) last name is just a mocking in the making. Poor little girl Ho
My last name is far far better!!!!
My poor baby girl is gonna be little girl Ho if I don’t change her last name to mine (stupid me being agreeable in the hospital, lol)!
I’m a child of the 80s and 90s so I’m definitely partial to the names Justin, JC, Joey, Lance, and Chris. Unfortunately my husband has a no boy-band name rule….damn
WHA!? What a loser.
I was going to be Ronald… like fucking Mc Donald… instead, Athena- yeah that’s perfectly logical! My parents were so high!
WAIT.
Your real name is Athena?
That is sooo pretty! I am calling you that from now on!
I want to have a son and name him Sam Francisco. Just cause.
I’m never having children so I gave all my sweet ass baby names away to my friends. Can you believe one of them had the nerve to actually use one of them and named her son Jazz??? That bitch.
Good God, I was ahead of my time…my second daughter was named Kimberly.
they all call her Kim or Kimmie now anyway…oh well, I tried!!!
–>Apparantly I was going to be “Dwayne” according to my older brother who was always a bully. Alas, I’m “Debra” and still wonder why my name doesn’t rhyme with zebra.
~deb
http://www.WebSavvyMom.com
Can I make it rhyme with zebra when I say it in my head? Please? Just for fun? It would make me painfully happy!
I agree, I think calling you DEE-bra is GENIUS!
Upon meeting you, one of my first thoughts: She so doesn’t seem like a Brittany. But, you don’t seem like a Kimberly either. Maybe Cher?
Like, CHER, Cher?
I am pretty sure THIS is why I love you.
I was going to be Benjamin.
Which I went to grade school with a kid named Ben who I seriously hated. So it ruined the name for me.
He used to kiss me on the bus. But his breath always smelled like dirt.
I didnt enjoy it nearly as much as he did.
I don’t know about boy names, but I was almost a Dawn. I am so not a Dawn.
uh…what?
HAHAHAA!! Seriously tho, I luh-HUV reading your posts, makes me feel so normal.
Scary, I know!
xxoo
Kjo
So, I am so weird, I make you feel normal? I am surprisingly excited by this! THANKS!
My mom named me Rachel, which isn’t necessarily a bad name. However, she got Rachel from the Bible. Do you know how hard it is to live up to a “Bible name”? It was cool til I turned 16 and started dry-humping with my boyfriend.
Oh, and I went to school with a guy who actually told people that he planned on naming his kids Nad and Tit. He thought it would be cool to yell to them: “C’mere Nad” or “C’mere Tit”. He’s still single….and hasn’t spawned yet (thank God).
You make me laugh so hard.
When I was 5 my sister convinced me that my real name was actually Lucy – not Madison. Said it was my secret name and that Madison was just a cover. I told my kindergarten teacher so she could help me write my “real name” on my worksheet. When she handed it back to me, to my perpetual 5 year old horror there was a big fat “Madison” at the top. I was so embarassed.
My sister loved to lie and I always blindly followed.
She still does – and I still do.
Dammit.
I need names for the new puppy we are getting! Toss some my way, PLEASE.
I knew my first born was a boy even though we never did an u/s for gender. I just knew it in my bones. His name was to be Drew. He was born a girl. Her name is Drew. Sucks to be her, she’s only 4 and is already mistaken in writing as a boy. Get used to it, sucker.
LMAO Good for you!
I have a boy name (Devon). Sometimes its cool and sometimes it sucks. Like the time my insurance denied my claim for a pap at the OBGYN. They had me listed as male. Stupid insurance people, like a boy would get a pap. Duh!
At least Justin is better than Brian. That was going to be my name if I was a boy. Thankfully, that didn’t work out.
My brother and I each think the other is our parents’ favorite. Luckily, we bonded anyway.
Olden days must have sucks. I was Adam.. Even then my parents couldnt make up their mind. I was called my first for the first 2 years & now I’m Claire ( middle name)
Holy crisis.
I’m in Ohio too! By the way, in the NE Area!!
You can name my next child. I told my husband I have dibs this time.. I wanted Canyon ( yes, the simpsons comes to mind for EVERYONE) for my first but I got an Andy instead. The similarity is there in my mind.
Ooh..maybe I can raffle the kids name off when that time comes, like on ebay..and he could be named Foreal.
So what you are saying is…we might be clones?
I am in NWO, btw.
We must be clones b/c you could understand all my typos. I can speak.. sort of, just not type, apparently.
If your ever in the Akron/Canton area, let me know, I’ll let you stalk me!
NWO..Isn’t that a band.. or rap group, whatever you call them..Your hardcore!
I am not sure you are not me. See I too have a brother who is a carpenter with a beard who seems to be the favorite. My dad wanted to name me Rebecca Rita (my last name also begins with R so my initials would have been RRR, WTF, right?). Thank God my mother had good sense to say no. Instead I got LJR. It may not spell anything, but I can live with that.
Ummm my initials are ASS!!!!
i’ve got nothin’….
(but i still felt compelled to comment)
(sue me)
(no, don’t sue me)
(or do, whatever)
When I was 14 I wanted to name my soon to be born little sister One Ball Reilly. My mom had the veto power, though, so she’s had to live life with the laughable “Chelsea.”
Dude, she could have been famous with that name. Way to go, mom.
I was going to be named David, BORING. So much better to be named after my uncle’s girlfriend at the time.
They totally screwed me with the initials though. GAS, yeah, my initials have never been used on ANYTHING.
My parents were really thinking when they named me.. I was going to be a Kelly regardless of my sex.. Geez
I was going to be Penelope. Fortunately, they were still giving the good drugs when my mom pushed me out, and she got a little distracted and ended up with Jennifer.
Ha, my made-up ’80s name was Amy. My real name is Idoia. My parents’ second choice was Arrate. I’m thinking I got out the best I could.
1. David is NOT boring.
2. Had I had ovaries, I would have been named Pamela.
3. I think I ended up winning the name lottery, given the alternative.
I always wanted to be named Jessica. Yeah, because *that’s* original.
My mom was convinced I would be a boy because she wanted a girl. I’m convinced she talked to me as a boy in her stomach because when i was little I always named all my baby boys John Scott, which was gonna be my name.
I’m happy with it.
But since I was a girl and she had to pick something ASAP she named me after herself in a roundabout way. She’s Lisa, I’m Me-Lisa=Melissa.
Seriously though my names for kids is going to lead me down a bad path. I only want 3 at most but I have so many Amazing names! My family is also pretty conservative in the name department so I’m sure they’re all going to be appalled when I start pushing kids out!
Gigi is one of the best names ever.
Too bad your parents didn’t name you Gigi or you’d have been more Awesome.
Better Justin than “Steak”, which is what my father wanted to name me had I been a boy. Not that my mother would have let him.
Also, I find that naming your prized inanimate objects tends to be a good use for badass names. My car is a saucy red wench christened Hermione.
My toy car is a 1986 Alfa Romeo name Sophia! Being Italina and beautiful and all…
When I was in 4th grade, 2 of my girlfriends and I were obsessed with Charlie’s Angels (I’m old). Anyway we decided that we would rename ourselves Kelly, Sabrina and Jill. I was Kelly. I started signing Kelly on my homework, calling myself Kelly in the schoolyard yada yada yada. My teacher, bless her, didn’t forbid it. I’m not sure when my friends finally convinced me that it was a stupid idea and they weren’t going to do it anymore, but thankfully I eventually moved on. Kind of. I mean, 30+ years later its still a cringe-worthy memory…
You know whats weird – my parents named my brother the name that I would have been if I was a boy. That just seems wrong. Like I should get to be able to say that if I were a boy I would have been Mark….and not then add …. but then they actually had a boy and named him Mark so it actually isn’t MY BOY NAME it’s HIS name. Therapy. It’s just a lot of therapy.
In other news they were planning on naming me Helene. And I came out really pissed off and my mom didn’t think I was calm enough to carry the name Helene (she was spot on correct) so they named me Cassandra – which I happen to think fits me much better.
And finally – because I haven’t said enough and I apparently have had enough coffee – when we would go to Darien Lake as kids I would tell the boys my name was Taylor….I really wanted to be a Taylor.
my parents assumed I was a boy too, and were all set to call me Alec because they were hippies or something. And then I guess when I came out sans wiener they panicked and named me Alicia, which to this day is the bane of my existence.
sigh.
I was going to be named Romana Alejandra…but I was born a gay boy so my parents decided to get creative and named me Roman Alejandro. Elton John and Boy George were taken. Bitches.
When I was a wee little lad, I always wanted to be called Jerry. These days I settle for Flawless or Your Majesty
I am completely spacing out on what my name was going to be if I was a boy. Argh! I’m going to have to call my Dad and ask him. At least you got a name that is not ambiguous. I’m one of those that could be a boy or a girl. Once I got the Dorothy Hamill haircut even my pediatrician called me a boy once!! *sob*
I have two girls ages 2 and 4.
I let them name themselves because I’m the type of parent that really doesn’t give a crap. About anything.
My 4 year old calls herself Yo Gabba Gabba Cindy Turtle Doggie Pants.
My two year old calls herself Mmm Mmm Banana.
Not bad, eh?
I’ve got nothing in the name department…I’m just *swooning* at the memories of JC on the Mickey Mouse Club, with Justin, and then *NSYNC!!! I loved me some JC!!!
My name has never made a comeback and whenever I hear someone say that name and they aren’t talking to me I know EXACTLY how old that person is.
So I have a stockpile of great names too, and seeing as how my partner only wants 4 kids… the 4 we have are each going to have a first name and 3 middle names.
My theory, you can always shorten, you can never lengthen.
Unless of course you realize you were jipped and then have your name legally changed back to One Ball Reilly.
If my sister or I were a boy, it would’ve been Roger Travis. I would have gone by Travis.
Ah! I need boy names BADLY. Something cool and fun to look at but not weird. And also maybe a little British-sounding.
I’m pretty awesome at making up names too. I tend to make up names for things at inappropriate times though and that just gets me in trouble.
My parents get the award for being super lame. My maiden name is hood and if I was a boy my mom wanted to name me Robin….for realz.
Also, I wanted to be Tiffany. Do you know how many flippin Heather’s there are out there? So many that when you call my name I don’t turn around or look in your direction. Altho I don’t do that for Mom either, because in my head my kids are totally not needing and calling for me in public places. I do turn when someone says Mrs. Durdil-there are only one of those…well in the Cleveland area anyways….my SIL is in Columbus and a teacher, so I am sure she is getting Mrs. Durdil’s hollered at her a plenty but I would never be mistaken for her, she’s like 5 feet tall and a red head.
My Parents wanted to name me Jason if I were a boy. which is not a bad name I guess. Just that 521033201985652 guys have that name. and then my Aunt Stole the name to name her youngest son and then condescendingly exclaimed that SHE had the boy before my mom. it was still a crack whorish thing to do. besides, her son was a total tool until he was like 10 and I have another cousin named Brian who was a total Tool and is the bane of my existence. I still chuckle that he shares a name with a Backstreet Boy.
Our Sons Names are Cole and Lincoln. Not TOO traditional, yet not very popular either. even though cole has become MORE popular since I’ve had my son. AND a whole helluva a lot better than Battlestar Galactica like he WANTED to name him. psycho.
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