Father’s Day 4: It just keeps getting better.

I never know what to get Andy for Father’s Day.

His first father’s day, I got him a bunch of framed pictures of Jude for his desk, and a set of expensive lobster shell cracker things.

Andy: I love these pictures.  What is this metal thing?  A tuning fork?

me:  A tuning fork?  No, it’s a lobster cracker.

Andy:  Oh.

me:  You know, because you love lobster.

Andy:  Oh awesome, we’re having lobster tonight?

me:  What?  No.  Those things freak me out, I can’t have it escaping before I cook it, because I won’t even look for it, I’ll just move out.

So, after that, I spent a few years just giving him pictures of the kids wearing his ties and favorite hats with their nude little cheeks showing.  You know, like they were grown up like daddy, but not, because they have chubby little legs and bellies?   Trust me, it was totally clever and not at all as porny as it sounds.

But, it was boring.

I felt creatively stifled.

So this year, in light of my lovely Mother’s Day gift, I wanted to really go all out.

So…what to get him for Father’s Day?

Think.  Think.  Think.

*squinty eye* *squinty eye* *chin rub*

Oh sick, I think there’s a dead fish in our pond.

I should tell Andy to go scoop it out, but I feel bad, it’s almost his special day.

Hmm.

I guess I’ll just stop looking at the pond until nature eats it.

OMG, I practically just got him his first gift.

Happy Father’s Day Andy!  You are so amazing and wonderful, don’t you even think of scooping that dead rotting fish corpse out of the pond today.  You just ignore it until Mother Nature takes care of it.  Or, until it’s Monday.   Which ever comes first.   Obviously.

Ok, one down, what else.

I’m just gonna talk it out.

Father…papa…dad…da da…daddy…who’s your daddy…baby daddy…

OMG BABY DADDY.

Nothing says Father’s Day like a baby.  It’s like saying, here, father this, because you do it so awesome all year long.

Or, look, Andy, God thinks you are such an amazing daddy, he’s practically paying you in babies!

Why didn’t I think of this earlier, this is the best gift idea ever.

Ok, so babies.  How to get a baby…

I’m not Madonna, I can’t just buy one.

I could make one, but I can’t do it alone, and Andy’s vas deferens has been compromised.

I could adopt one, but from where?  Because, really, I’m cool with almost all ethnic food, except for Thai, and that’s only because I don’t like peanuts, but, even then, I am sure they have lots of other foods with out them.

This is really hard.

But, really, don’t see how the surgical reversal of a year old vasectomy won’t be the best gift ever.

Because, what can I say, the man has a gift when it comes to baby making.

Happy Father’s Day, Andy!

__________

Today I was featured on the Social Media site, Shamable!  I am incredibly honored and excited, and I really hope you check it out and comment, because I think it deals with a topic that is very important to me, the marketing value of sites with creative quality content.  The discussion needs your voice, even if the words that come out have four letters.