An Aside...

Since then, if you have had any interaction on any form of social media, you have seen a virtual cluster fuck of outcry at this decision, and a mountain of furious opinions coming in from both sides.

And now, I’m going to elaborate on mine…kinda.

See what I'm thinkin...

Welcome Home

October 18, 2011

You know how in Twilight, Alice has visions of people’s future in her head, and when she can’t see it, it’s because they are dead or something? That is how I like to pretend my brain works. In my mind, I am psychic, so I feel like if I don’t envision something happening, it’s because [...]

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Step 2: Ruining Your Life

October 14, 2011

For the life of me, I cannot remember at what age I first felt embarrassed by my parents. I feel like it wasn’t something I knew I was supposed to feel by myself, but rather, something someone else told me I was supposed to be feeling. Wanna ride with me and my mom for the [...]

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The Bridal Shower.

October 11, 2011

I should preface this by saying, I do not bring my kids to bridal showers. Hell, I barely get excited about bringing them children’s birthday parties, because balancing three flimsy paper plates full of pulled pork sandwiches and explaining why you can’t open other people’s presents 4000 times is akin to eating at Long John [...]

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I’m why you should have to take a test to become a parent.

October 7, 2011

It took me a second to realize I was fucked. I had just gotten home from the airport and herded everyone inside, passing the bookbags hung neatly on the hooks in the mudroom, when it hit me. In a very slow motion ohhhhhh ssshhhhhittttttttt fashion. Sure, I could take over schlepping out the garbage and [...]

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Eleven Days

October 4, 2011

When I say things like, oh 11 days isn’t very long, in my head, it makes sense. Because 11 days isn’t very long.  It’s not even two weeks. I’ve been constipated and on crash diets that have lasted longer than that. But when I pulled up to the departures terminal, and he got out of [...]

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Brittany Learns to Share.

September 30, 2011

The year they launched gmail, I bought Brittany an invite off ebay for $5.  Since then, she has taken great joy in emailing me her streams of consciousness multiple times a day while I am at work and unable to field her constant phone calls. The other day, she found out I saved a lot [...]

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Patriotic.

September 28, 2011

This is  a totally true story, though I changed the name of the person involved so I don’t get assassinated or my voter card taken away, if they even do that, I’m not sure, but I think really stupid people vote all the time, so I should probably be fine.  Plus, wouldn’t the REAL punishment NOT being [...]

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Brittany & Meredith Live…All New

September 27, 2011

If you didn’t listen live last night, and really, why the hell not, you missed hilarity, brilliance, and me… recreating Meredith having sex using her weird Fargo-like accent. Click here to check out Episode 2 of Brittany & Meredith Live or download it from iTunes. Click here to like us on Facebook Click here to [...]

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Boys are Disgusting.

September 22, 2011

When I first started dating my husband in high school, we were rarely at his house.  His room was impeccably clean and done up in some kitschy Oakland Raiders motif, and I couldn’t even mock it because, at the time, I had no idea the Oakland Raiders sucked, and I just assumed it was totally normal for [...]

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My love affair with TED.

September 19, 2011

You know when you get married, and everyone tells you to slow down and enjoy the day so that it doesn’t pass you by, and the next thing you know, you are in it, and then it’s over, and you are waking up the next morning still in your wedding dress with beer stains around [...]

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